It’s all staged.

I was standing in front of a mouth piece. Or rather the mouth piece was standing in front of me, expecting me to take the first step. I hesitated. May be I hesitated a little too long, for hours had passed, without any change in the status quo. For some strange reason the audience was getting impatient. And were beginning to mutter their annoyance, which was growing with every second. I was feeling uneasy, but no clue what got into them. Even the mike, as if emboldened by the developments, was beginning to squeal and wail. I tapped it a couple of times to make it behave. I started tapping the audience as well to make them stop. But this seemed to aggravate the matter. I soon realised the genetic structure between the two are different and hence they would react differently to different stimulations. To change things, I started pinching. Things did change. People started jumping on their seats but one particular gentleman was upset over the whole proceedings as the ladies on the immediate front row started throwing their palms at his face. Possessive husband were sacrificing their posterior for their wives. Some unscrupulous people among the audience took it rather too literally. They pinched people off their hats, wallets, hankies, clips, underwear, socks, ties, cufflinks, combs, matchboxes and things. I thought the people were enjoying themselves. It didn’t really matter I was standing there, totally ignored.

A big bore.

A big boar came running towards me at speed close to the speed of light. I gave it a slip and went to sleep. Because of its mind-boggling speed, by the time the thick head realised it had missed the target it was light years away from me. But again considering the speed the damn thing had managed to gather it took him only a couple of minutes to reach within striking distance. Since, I have read somewhere, if something with mass ever managed to imitate the speed the light, it would turn into energy. And if the author of the book had any credibility, it should stop existing and therefore cease to be of any considerable threat to me. But the author of the book forgot to add that that thing has to be reminded that it was time he turned into energy or he stop speeding. So the wild bore chase is still on.

Well! well!

Have you realized you are wasting away? Doesn’t matter even if you travel from point A to point B only in a chauffer driven Merc. Never mind if you have an unscrupulous account in a Swiss bank or you’re a close friend of Bill Gates. Even your Armani jacket, crocodile skin shoes or shawl made of dinosaur skin (can’t say how you’ll get one though) can’t stop it. Or for that matter your picture on the cover of Times Magazine. Please rush to a store immediately, pick up a pack of tortillas and a good book to read. That’ll still keep the clock ticking but at least when the moment comes you’ll be busy reading a book with tortillas in between.